I’ve joined many International Women’s Day events, and most follow a similar pattern. Women speaking to women about women. These spaces are energising and important. But I often leave with the same thought: if we want lasting change, boys and men cannot grow up feeling like this conversation belongs somewhere else.

Because when boys aren’t part of the conversation, they still absorb messages about gender - just not always from places we would choose. So how do we involve them in International Women’s Day in a way that feels meaningful rather than tokenistic? Here are five suggestions...

1. Give Them Context

My son once asked why there were so many books about girl power. What about boy power? It dawned on me that he lacked context. And he’s not alone. Many boys feel puzzled by the strong focus on girls' empowerment.

Without context, empowerment messaging can feel selective. A little perspective goes a long way. Here are a few stats to support you:

• Women in the UK did not gain equal voting rights with men until 1928
• Many women were expected to leave work when they married well into the 20th century
• Today, women still hold a minority of senior leadership positions in business and politics

Stereotypes also start early. A widely cited study published in Science found that by age six, girls are already less likely than boys to associate their own gender with being “really, really smart” (Bian, Leslie & Cimpian, 2017). A 2022 meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin concluded that while attitudes have shifted, gender stereotypes about leadership and competence remain persistent (Eagly, Nater & Miller, 2022).

Giving boys this context helps them understand that International Women’s Day isn’t about elevating girls at their expense - it’s about addressing patterns shaped over generations.

2. Encourage Them to Notice Patterns

Instead of abstract discussions about fairness, start with observation. Watch a film together and ask:

• Who usually leads?
• Who apologises more?
• Who is described as “bossy” and who as “confident”?

Look at sports coverage, toy catalogues, or online headlines. Ask your son what he notices.

Research published in Sex Roles shows that repeated exposure to gendered media influences children’s beliefs about what boys and girls are “meant” to do (Coyne et al., 2019).

Helping boys question these patterns doesn’t require confrontation - it requires curiosity. You’re showing them how to think critically, not what to think.

3. Make It Personal

Big social issues can feel abstract. Personal stories don’t. Ask:

• Which women influence your life?
• Who teaches you something new?
• Who do you respect?

Talk about women in your own family - their careers, ambitions, setbacks, strengths. You could also explore wider role models together:

• Malala Yousafzai
• Rosa Parks
• Mae Jemison

Equally, it might be a teacher, coach or grandmother. When equality has a face, it becomes real.

4. Show Them That Equality Expands Their World Too

Gender stereotypes do not only limit girls. They narrow the emotional and social range available to boys.

Research in the Journal of Counselling Psychology has linked rigid adherence to traditional masculine norms with poorer mental health outcomes for boys and men (Wong et al., 2017). When boys internalise messages like “don’t cry” or “man up,” it doesn’t make them stronger - it makes them quieter about what they feel.

International Women’s Day can open a conversation about broader questions:

• What kind of man do you want to become?
• Can strength include kindness?
• Can leadership include listening?

Framing equality as expansion - not competition - helps boys see the value for themselves, not just for others.

5. Model Gender Equality at Home

Children learn more from what we do, than what we say. Show them what equality looks like at home, by sharing responsibilities - from cooking and cleaning to discussing emotions. When children see equality at home, they’ll be more likely to carry those values into their schools and friendships.

Raising Boys Who Can Sit Comfortably in the Conversation

International Women’s Day will always be a day to celebrate women and recognise the work still to be done.

Inviting boys into that conversation doesn’t dilute it — it strengthens it.

Because the more comfortable boys feel discussing equality, the less likely they are to see it as something that excludes them, and the more likely they are to support it.

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References

• Bian, L., Leslie, S.-J., & Cimpian, A. (2017). Gender stereotypes about intellectual ability emerge early and influence children’s interests. Science, 355(6323), 389–391.
  
• Coyne, S. M., Linder, J. R., Rasmussen, E. E., Nelson, D. A., & Collier, K. M. (2019). It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a gender stereotype! Longitudinal associations between superhero viewing and gender stereotyped play. Sex Roles, 80, 127–140.
  
• Eagly, A. H., Nater, C. R., & Miller, D. I. (2022). Gender stereotypes and social role theory: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 148(3), 212–237.
  
• Wong, Y. J., Ho, M.-H. R., Wang, S. Y., & Miller, I. S. K. (2017). Meta-analyses of the relationship between conformity to masculine norms and mental health-related outcomes. Journal of Counselling Psychology, 64(1), 80–93.